Changing My Digital Life

I am going to take minute today to reset my “digital” life a bit. This is something I have been meaning to do for quite some time now. My plan is not to eliminate social media or delete my online presence or anything, but rather to set a demarcation from my establish past to a new and unknown future.

If you know me, you know that the last couple of years of my life have been hectic. The emergence of Covid-19 created a sense of dread and psychological conflict that spilled out into my relationships with clients, friends and family. I became hyper political amid the pandemic and the Black Lives Matter movement. The previous administration was a constant source of strife for me as well. So as I became aware of people that supported Trump, I sought conflict with those individuals or expelled them from my life altogether.

Last year I ran for local office, which I barely lost. I expanded my business during Covid, opening a second full location. I got married (for a third time). And during this past year, I returned to travelling, which is something the previous year was fairly devoid of.

The result of all this chaos in my life was a sense of a loss of control and understading of my place in the world. I lost my motivation to be the person I have been working toward being for years. I was trying to shove a square peg into a round hole, and no matter how hard I pushed it wasn’t working.

I will not spend time rehashing my background, I have done that in previous blog posts. I just want to note a few things before continuing:

  • I am prior military, having served four years of active duty in the United States Marine Corps.
  • I have struggled with my weight. I was overweight when I entered military service and my weight has ballooned several times in my adult life.
  • I found an endurance fitness lifestyle in 2010 and it has been an integral part of my life ever since.
  • I began studying Buddhism around the same time I went to Massage School. While I have never considered myself a Buddhist, its teachings have become a part of my daily life.
  • I recently began a Yoga journey. Instead of attending regular classes, I have chosen to dive right into a two hundred hour Yoga Teacher Training.

I bring up these things because they are all vital components of my motivation to chart a new path going forward. I am happier when I am at peace. People around me are happier when I am at peace. I am more successful at most things when I am at peace. So peace is my mission now.

When that means for resetting my “digital” life is that I am going to focus on those things that make me happy in life and share those things with the world (understandably my small corner of it). I will make every effort to avoid being negative or judgemental. I will seek opportunities to be kind and supportive and to foster postive relationships with people that can reciprocate my energy.

Our minds and our bodies exist in a symbiotic relationship. We need a healthy body to protect a healthy mind, but we also must cultivate a positive mindset to produce a fit and able body. I do not believe it to be coincidence that, during the last several years of political and pandemic strife, I have gained so much weight. I am hopeful that focusing on the positive in life and disregarding the negative can assist me in finding a wonderful mindbody state that will improve life for myself and those around me.

Follow my journey here at The Daily Octane.

Quick note on how and why I am doing this: 

I am now using a journaling app to write a daily journal. SOME of these I will publish directly to www.thedailyoctane.com, but not all. If even one person finds motivation from my blog, it will be worth the effort. My goal is to share my experiences in life and the insight I have gained from a more positive path.

Our New Normal – life with social distancing

Our new normal

Mourning the life we had

When we feel grief, it doesn’t always manifest in sorrow. I read something profound this morning. It was a quote I saw on Facebook that a friend of mine had shared. I have already forgotten the author’s name and I am paraphrasing here:

We are all in mourning…we are mourning what life used to be like…

There is so much truth in that. I recall the early days of my divorce in 2018 when several people gave me valuable advice. Two things stand out. The first is very similar to the quote above: In divorce, you are not sad about the divorce, but rather you are mourning the loss of the life you had because your new life is not the same.

The second recurring thing I was told was that the hardest thing in divorce is getting used to your new normal. Both of these ideas are born from the same notion that everything is different now. The same can be said for social distancing and living in the current world that is under assault from Covid-19.

Social Distancing = our new normal

Social Media as the canary in the mine

In the early days of the pandemic, as things in the United States were just starting to shut down, most of what I saw on social media was humor. There were countless memes addressing everything from relationships to toilet paper. That changed after several days. I began to see more hostile posts. More and more people were complaining about the inconvience of their situations. Angrier posts blamed Chinese people or New Yorkers for making things worse. Today, I have begun to see a shift in the tone again. Several people have shown sadness. There are some people who seem forlorn and confused.

This certainly reminds me of The Kübler-Ross Grief Cycle:

  1. Denial
  2. Anger
  3. Depression
  4. Bargaining
  5. Acceptance

Kübler-Ross Grief Cycle

If the comical memes and people like the President saying it was a hoax is denial and the demand for New Yorkers to stay in New York was anger, then it would make sense for people today to be depressed. Honestly, I felt depressed yesterday too.

Kübler-Ross Grief Cycle
At the time of this post, I believe we are in the Depression stage.

Depression is not a normal state for me. I have made it part of existence to avoid the trappings of depression. By living an active lifestyle, I obtain the endorphines I need to maintain a positive mental state and I try to eat in a way that reduces inflammation and the associated trappings that leads to. I have read and studied some Buddhist teachings and I used to meditate often. I need to meditate more.

But what comes next? As society enters into the bargaining stage, what form does that take? Will people start making unsafe decisions? Are we going to see packed churches? Schools opening back up? I would make the argument that we are already seeing that. We need to keep our focus and treat this pandemic for what it is. We need strong leaders with an appropriate message.

Click here to read about why I think Trump is the problem

We need stronger leaders

We need President Trump to incrementally make this worse. Up until today, he was claiming we would open for business by Easter. Now he has adjusted the timeline to April 30th. At some point, an adult in the room needs to tell the truth to the American Public…this is going to go on until long into the summer…this is going to be our NEW NORMAL!

Check out my daily rant on YouTube. I have softened my tone a little bit as I am moving through the depression stage. I will not bargain with my health, though…

See you tomorrow,

Chris

Pandemic Politics: Navigating Debate and Uncertainty

So many reasons, so little time

Pandemic Politics

I recently made the decision to unfriend a bunch of people on Facebook. For years I have kept ties with many of my social media contacts who had dissenting opinions to me. I convinced myself there was value to understanding how people viewed politics from a different position in life. The idea was that I could better convey my own beliefs by processing them through debate with these people. I am now done with that.

The current state of the world has altered things. Gone are the days of passionate debate and a desire to find common ground. Why? How did we get here? Who’s “fault” is it?

click here to read about kayaking during a pandemic

I think the answer to those questions is complicated. I would argue that it is actually a series of dominoes that have fallen to get us here. The following is my OPINION. Its just one person’s opinion and I am sure everyone else has their own. Remember, I am not a poly-sci major nor do I work in politics. Regardless, here it is:

The main culprits of our political divide are the following:

  • The 24 hour news cycle
    • When cable made its first appearance in the early 1980s, CNN splashed onto the scene, bringing the opportunity for us all to view the news whenever we wanted. As time went on, more cable news organizations came onto the scene. Competition demanded that news become more and more sensationalized in order to win market share and ultimately more advertising dollars
  • The election of Obama
    • I truly believe that a large portion of our society is inherently racist. In most people, it is latent. The average person is not going to say or do overtly racist things, but rather they exist in a native state of racism. It is common for many people to be fearful of black and brown people. It is also not unusual for people to feel that minorities are taking an unfair portion of the proverbial pie.
    • The election of President Barack Obama tapped into that inherent racism. I feel a large swath of people became invigorated by politics born from a sense of fear and that latent racism.
  • The Tea Party
    • During the early days of Obama’s Presidency, there was a coup of sorts in the Republican Party. The Tea Party was born of a desire from the base of the party to move the national agenda further to the right. They began winning local elections, then state elections, and ultimately finding their way into a smattering of seats in The House of Representatives.
    • During the debates of The Affordable Care Act, the Tea Party was instrumental in damaging public opinion of the legislation. Following that debacle, they further influenced John Boehner (the Speaker of The House at the time) into a series of grandstanding moves to stop budget progress. This took specific form during the need to raise the debt ceiling following President Obama’s financial moves to rebuild the economy after the crash of 2008.
  • Mitch McConnell
    • The obstructionist playbook was expanded by Mitch McConnell when he publicly stated, “The single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president.”
    • As Majority Leader of the Senate, he was uniquely positioned to block every possible piece of legislation the Democrats brought debate. He refused to allow votes on popular bills. McConnell used a myriad of parliamentary maneuvers to block legislation on a regular basis. He is the epitome of the phrase, “do nothing politics.”
  • The Democratic Party
    • For their part, the Democratic Party also has some blame to share. On the national level, the party is actually quite dysfunctional. For decades, it has lacked a cohesive voice. The leaders of the party seek some sort of balance of moderation and progressiveness, all the while achieving neither.
    • The Democrats are wonderful at cannibalizing their own party. If a Republican does something untoward publicly, their party tends to close ranks and speak no ill will. The Democrats are far to quick to publicly admonish their own side, often making the party look elitist and fractured.
    • The Democrats have never seemingly been a single party, but rather a pack of people with 100,000 different agendas. Instead of building a coalition of strong candidates with a cohesive agenda, a hodgepodge of activists seem to drive the agenda and the message is lost in the noise.
  • The Religious Right
    • Somewhere along the line, the Republic party was hijacked by religion. I am unsure if it is actual ideology or the fear of public admonishment that scares candidates the most. Realistically, it is more likely that GOP candidates are the recipients of large donations by religious organizations and beholden to the marketing of Political Action Committees controlled by the same groups.
    • The Religious Right ultimately has two agendas in today’s political sphere: Stop Abortion and the dismantling of equal rights for the LGTBQ community.
    • The Social Conservative Movement, as it likes to refer to itself, is the main driver of public discourse for most people. It is hard to argue fiscal politics, but being for or against abortion is easy…and no one will ever change your mind.

Live and let live

So I quit. It is easier to give up on arguing with my friends. I tried for so long to be polite in my social media posts. I tried to ensure that I was using facts and logic to make my point. The biggest problem to arise from the current political divide is the phenomenon of Confirmation Bias. This refers to the natural disposition people have to only see “truths” in their own opinion. If they believe something to be true, they will only seek out information to support and they will ignore information that contradicts it.

On my YouTube channel today, I posted a rant about this very subject. Check it out:

Wildcard Wednesdays

Note: Over the next week, I will be introducing readers (however few there are) to the new format of The Daily Octane. Each day will be the topic reveal for that calendar day going forward. Additionally, I will provide context for why I feel I have ANY business even writing about the subject.

A New Beginning

As I was planning out this blog several weeks ago, I came up with seven topics for seven days with ease. There was no question that I had even more than seven topics I could discuss on a weekly basis. I ran into a problem limiting it to seven.

I made the choice to pick the top six that I could topically write about on a weekly basis. With those six topics established, I then brainstormed a myriad of ideas for the coming months and Wildcard Wednesdays was born.

Click Here to read about the decision to start over

From this day forward, I may grab something from the headlines and take some time to inject my opinion on the matter. If not a headline, I may write about a topic that doesn’t fall under the defined parameters of the other days. Wednesdays will be kind of loose since that is really the point.

Its all about what you know

At 44 years old, I have acquired a rather sufficient amount of life experience. However, I am also not a dive bar old timer obfuscating about better days gone by. Some subjects I feel I have passion about and a modicum of insight on include:

Politics

I serve on the local Democratic Committee and my girlfriend works professionally in politics. Recently, I have started getting involved in local politics. I certainly have a vocal opinion.

Party Politics
While Party Politics has traditionally been a source of division, it is our system We need to work within it.

Travel

In a small way, tomorrow’s topic will touch on some travel topics. It is not only about travel, so Wednesdays will be a good spot for this topic. In my years, I have been to most of the United States. During my military days, lived in Japan and traveled around southeast Asia a bit. The Bahamas and the Caribbean have recently been favorite destinations and I am planning to hit Europe next year. I have cruised several times and will certainly be doing that more in the future.

The coast of Saint Lucia. Soufrie is on the left and The Petite Piton is on the right.
This was shot with my DJI Mavic Pro on the west coast of Saint Lucia. The city of Soufrie is on the left and the Petite Piton is on the right.

Small Business

Being a small business owner for six years has offered me some insight into the pitfalls and rewards of being your own boss. I have made the transition into having employees and changed business entities. I have lost employees and gained wisdom. There is a lot to unpack.

Shop Small on Small Business Saturday
Small business ownership is rewarding but you are always competing with the giants.

Parenting

The most beautiful thing about parenting is that there is no right way to do it. The most terrifying thing about parenting is that there is no right way to do it. That is Dad life in a nutshell. I have two teenage boys and coparent with my ex-wife pretty well. There is always something to discuss there.

Me & my boys
This is me with my two boys at Disney’s Hollywood Studios a few years ago. It is nearly impossible to get all three of us in a photo together. Teenagers are a pain.

Food & Drink

Without any doubt, I am a foodie and a wine/beer snob. My Italian Mother taught me a ton about cooking and how to do it well. I also eat out on the regular basis. A wide variety of beer and wine pleasures my palette, but I am currently Keto, so wine it is at present time. When I travel, I feel compelled to post all of my food on social media. I am aware that I am a victim to modern social media tropes and I am okay with that.

The charcuterie plate at Tiffins
This is the charcuterie plate at Tiffins in Disney’s Animal Kingdom. It is my favorite Disney restaurant.

There is undoubtedly many other subjects in which I can put several hundred words on the interwebs for your enjoyment. Only time will tell how interesting it will be.

An interesting start

Before I close down today’s post, I would like to look back on the past week. I know there is another topic to go tomorrow, but that is probably THE topic people been expecting, so it won’t be a surprise to most. Over the past week, I have taken a website that I have owned for years and finally decided to do something with it. I have connected it to my Adsense account, researched and implemented several plugins to improve layout and functionality, learned how to established a Pinterest presence and began establishing a following there.

What is amazing to me is that people are finding this blog and actually reading it. It is not just my social media networks either. This blog is getting search traffic from Google and Pinterest searches. While I am not going to see any money from Google anytime soon, I have “earned” six cents. That makes me laugh but it is still money.

Once again, I know this is a short post. Tomorrow’s topic is the one that I probably have the most to say about so I will give you plenty to read then. I hope you come back for more…

Christopher Hess, LMT